


Racing Uptown

by csdavis



Category: Supernatural
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-07-19
Updated: 2017-07-19
Packaged: 2018-12-04 02:42:00
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 591
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11545809
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/csdavis/pseuds/csdavis
Summary: Based on the song It's Quiet Uptown.





	Racing Uptown

       Dean Winchester wasn’t the type to force change. He would even go as far as to say he hated it. He knows it’s impossible to avoid in life, but he tries to keep his world as orderly as possible. No one is more shocked than he is when he decides to leave his home. He quits his job and almost leaves his boyfriend. But Gabriel has always been good at reading him. Together they pack up their lives.

       “Where to now, Deano?” Gabriel has his signature smirk in place but Dean knows. Dean sees the sadness in his eyes and feels his need to run. He knows they will never escape and can never outrun this feeling. But he’ll be damned if they don’t try. His own too tight smile creeps on his face.

       “I’ve always wanted to see New York. Be near my parents, you know. It will be nice.”

       Nice. Walks in the park with the person you love are nice. Loving touches and whispered promises are nice. Being enveloped in the warmth and scent of the person who has become your every breath is nice. Their move to New York is anything but nice. The quietness in their loft apartment is so loud they try to drown it out with words they don’t mean. Angry gestures and accusations that leave them both drained. Eventually, even this stop. Their bed becomes cold. Schedules never syncing. They’re just going with the motions.

       Gabriel’s voice and laughter has become nonexistent. Dean walks to the park alone just to get away from the silence. Gabriel’s drinks just this side of too much. His hands are empty of his beloved sweets. Dean can’t even bare to look at a bottle anymore. He can barely force himself to leave the bed.

       “Will you just talk to me? We’re both suffering here. Please. Say anything.” Gabriel is the first to break. There are tears where there should be none. There is sadness where Dean knows laughter should be. Dean hears the break in Gabriel’s voice and feels the break in his heart. Two months and this is the first time they’ve been in bed together. He feels the tears in his eyes but refuses to turn around. He doesn’t deserve the understanding he knows he’ll get. So, he lays there as tears fall and he hears the footsteps as Gabriel walks away. He hears the door close and lets a sob escape him. This is what he deserves.

       He was dumb. How could he have been so stupid? Dean had done it a hundred times. He’s sat in the passenger seat and shown her how to handle his baby. It’s not every year your daughter turns 16. She’s two weeks shy of her birthday. Three weeks away from her driver’s test that she just “has to pass the first time.” She had been doing great. Just a spin around the block. How was he supposed to know? If only he hadn’t looked away. If only he had reacted faster. If only he had told her yes when she wanted to stop at their favorite yogurt shop. The ambulance arrived to him holding his dead daughter.

       It would be weeks before Gabriel talked to him and only about funeral plans. Months before he saw even a hint of Gabriel’s smile. It was almost a year before he felt familiar arms and a warm body wrap around him while lying in bed.

       He couldn’t hold back his sobs as he wondered, ‘is this what forgiveness feels like?’


End file.
